It's the Army of Drunks 2023 rushed Christmas Special.  Yes, it's Christmas again, lonely shut-in!  And we're here to get you through the day, this time starting on Christmas morning!  We teach you how to make Grisly's Cosmic Pancakes, review an uncomfortable number of Christmas cereals, drink Brandy Alexanders, and... other stuff.  Merry Christmas, Motherf***ers!

March is the Irishest month, and we've got the booze to prove it!  Friend of the show and whiskeytarian Alex McKay to runs us through a fine spate of Irish Whiskies from such boozesmiths as Teeling, Redbreast, Sexton, and more.  And of course, we rate each one after a Batman.

The Army's Official Site Show List
http://armyofdrunks.net/shows/

Grisly's Cosmic Black
https://shop.grislyscosmic.com/

Two Drinks, One Show!

In what's either our late Mardi Gras show or our just barely-under-the-wire February Show, we both revisit that staple of Mardi Gras staggering the Hurricane, and dive into the "New Orleans Manhattan" a.k.a. the Vieux Carré. (Pronounced the creole way.)

Plus a list of things that will get your arrested in New Orleans, and a boob-themed Booze News!  

The Army's Official Site Show List
http://armyofdrunks.net/shows/

Grisly's Cosmic Black
https://shop.grislyscosmic.com/

It's our Artificial Intelligence show, where we try cocktail recipes generated by ChatGPT, and pray to the gods of booze for forgiveness!

This show is so big, we dividied it into two parts. Part one: The Actual Educational Stuff!  Our official "drunk scientist" Ian McEwan is back and answers all of our goddamn questions about the present and future of A.I.  (No, Midjourney is not secretly trying to become Skynet so it can kill us all.)  

The Army's Official Site
http://www.armyofdrunks.net/

Grisly's Cosmic Black
https://shop.grislyscosmic.com/

It's Christmas time!  And if you're stuck home alone on Christmas, the Army of Drunks has you covered.  Once again we're here to keep you company as you stay locked away from the rest of humanity on the holiday that punishes the lonely and unloved.  Like you!  But this year is different!  MixMa$ter Therm has worked up a fabulous mulled wine recipe for you.  Matt checks in with Trump's best friend Laurie.  And we taste-test four -- FOUR!! -- different kinds of frozen turkey dinners so you don't have to!  Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!

Show Notes
http://www.armyofdrunks.net/

Grisly's Cosmic Black
https://shop.grislyscosmic.com/

It's the Army of Drunks first annual Thanksgiving Survival Guide, featuring the best cocktail recipes for Thanksgiving.  (And yes, we put that in mostly for the search enginges.)

Worried about facing your crazy conspiracy theory-lovin' uncle, grandpa, or dad this Thanksgiving?  Worry no more!  The drunks give you a rundown of dunking points to foil the latest right-wing talking points.

Including some old favorites like:
- Litter Boxes in Schools for Furries
- California Letting 11 Million Immigrants Vote
- Hunter Biden's Laptop
- Even Flat Earthers

And our cocktails:
- Sage Old Fashioned a.k.a. The Wise Man
- Grisly's Cosmic Cardigan
- The Desperation Cocktail (A Therm Original)
- The Nutty Irishman

Grisly's Cosmic Black
https://shop.grislyscosmic.com/

Show Notes
http://www.armyofdrunks.net/

You've come to rely on us for this, and you need to take a hard look at yourself for that.

Yes, it's our annual guide to California State Ballow Measures.  Jason Berlin of Field Team 6 walks us through The Drinking Man's vote.

And we have no fewer than three – THREE! – autumnal cocktails to keep your insides warm as the leaves fall on your liver.

- The Maple Bourbon Smash
- The Cider Mimosa
- Grisly's Cosmic Sweater

So check it out and bring a pen to remember all this damn stuff!

Jason Berlin's Voter Registration Organization: 
https://www.fieldteam6.org/

Grisly's Cosmic Black
https://shop.grislyscosmic.com/

And OK, here are our ballot choices if for some reason you're reading this at your polling place.

Prop 1 - YES
Prop 26 - YES
Prop 27 - NOT REALLY, BUT WHATEV
Prop 28 - YES
Prop 29 - A COMPLICATED NO (listen to the show)
Prop 30 - A COMPLICATED YES (listen to the damn show!)
Prop 31 - NO

http://www.armyofdrunks.net/

Look, we know most of our listeners are Burners, so for them, we present the 2022 Shameless Burning Man Show!  (For the rest of you, we apologize ahead of time.)

Here, we finally taste test all of those terrible drinks you make on the playa to stay hydrated, like the Pickletini, the Gatoradita, and sadly, much more.  Though the Grisly's Cosmic Float was an all-around liquid punch in the pleasure centers. 

Also contains interviews with thoughtful upstanding BMOrg types like Andi Grace and Ahtibat.  Desiged to be listened to on, or on the way to, the Black Rock Desert... because it's our longest show ever, though we're not exactly proud of that.  Stay safe out there!

Burnin Man
http://www.burningman.org/

Grisly's Cosmic Black
http://shop.grislyscosmic.com/
Use code ARMY22 for 10% off

Army of Drunks Official Site
http://www.armyofdrunks.net/

Recorded early July, 2021. We're back with a sort-of-almost-post-pandemic summer show that tries to make some kind of damn sense of the madness that we've been neck-deep in for this past year.  Also, we review Grisly's Cosmic Black, a canned cocktail with a deeply personal connection. And Matt's texts from Trump! (NSFW as always.)

The worst of 2017 Show!  Sit down with Rico Gagliano -- former host of The Dinner Party Download -- and Andy Hermann -- former music editor for the L.A. Weekly -- as we get sloshed on holiday rum and dairy products, and try to figure out just what went wrong.  (NSFW as always.)

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Ever go to D!sneyland and wonder just who that suffering bastard is inside the Winnie the Pooh costume?  Well, we've got him right here!  Learn the inside dirt on what goes on inside that suit, while we get drunk on the most pleasant bastard on earth.  (NSFW as always.)

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Summer is over, and it's time for making jokes about going back to school, and then making an awkward transition into the fact that this show is one big lesson in whiskey drinking.  Whiskey afficionado Alex MacKay guides us through the ins and outs of how to drink the stuff.  (SPOILER: It goes in your mouth.)

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Cons, Sex, and Orgies of Furries!  Look into the dark and sweaty side of anime/sci-fi/comic conventions with someone who's seen it with her own eyes, while we get drunk on the Pink Lady, one of the best "girlie" cocktails ever. (NSFW as always)

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NSFW.  Really NSFW.  Our second show with gender non-binary Adrian Roberts as we go deeper into the trans-person experience.  Also: Robot fucking!  Yep!  Robot fucking.  Did we mention NSFW?

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"Ask a Drunk Transperson!"  Just in time for Trump's military ban, we sit down with guest Adrian Roberts --  one of the first people to legally register as gender non-binary and founder of Bootie Mashup -- to talk gender, transitioning, and hefeweizen beer. (NSFW as always.)

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Our second show with Reason Magazine senior editor Brian Doherty as we get even drunker on politics in the age of the internet troll.

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Sit down with Reason Magazine editor Brian Doherty as we get drunk on Gimlets and discuss libertarianism, lime juice, and what Ayn Rand, Anne Rice, and Andy Rooney all have in common. (NSFW as always.)

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Our second show with scientist Ian McEwan as we get even deeper -- and even more loaded -- on the future of science in America.

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Welcome to Season Three, and the welcome return of Drunk Science with Ian McEwan, our Drunk Scientist.  We also dig up the history of the Manhattan.  It's not just another plot by the Vermouth industry.

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A repeat of our show with creator of INVADER ZIM Jhonen Vasquez. (NSFW as always)

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The Army of Drunks Season Three is Coming Soon!  

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SUPPORT!  www.patreon.com/armyofdrunks

FACEBOOK!  http://www.facebook.com/armyofdrunksworldwide/ 

2016 has been one big punch in the dick, so why not wrap it up with Charles Dickens Punch, a.k.a. The Dick Punch!  As we wait for Santa to arrive, the Army gets loaded on a punch recipe from the author of "A Christmas Carol" himself.  We also play "Ask a Drunk Magician" with Simone Turkington of Mystiki Magic.  And improv band Surprise Inside makes it up as they go along!

ELECTION SPECIAL!  (If you live in California, anyway.  Everyone else, DO NOT LISTEN!  Seriously.  Unless other people's state measures really make you horny.)  Confused by the California state ballot propositions?  Hey!  We are, too!  So we decided to invite comedy 'n' government guy Josh Kamensky -- of Surprise Inside -- to walk us through 'em after our last show.  Joining us is guest host Aydrea Walden of The Oreo Experience, who was still waiting around for her ride.  So come with us on a magical, drunken, totally-biased journey through the wonderland we call STATE GOVERNMENT!

It's Halloween!  Join the Drunks, guest host Aydrea Walden ("The Oreo Experience") and our special guest mortician Amber Carvaly of Undertaking LA as we dive deep into the history of the Corpse Reviver cocktail, the cocktail with two versions and one purpose: revive your corpse after a long night of drinking.  We also "Ask a Drunk Mortician" questions from our listeners, and find out if the Sexy Coleslaw Costume is a real thing.

What better way to celebrate summer than with a bunch of fruity and boozy made-up Polynesian cocktails!  We get into the history of the Tiki bar while we sample the Mai Tai and the Singapore Sling.  That's right!  Two drinks!  Special!  Also, Matt talks about his distillery tour of Scotland, and Katie tells us how people are horrible.  SPECIAL!  (NSFW as always.)

The Cobbler Show
with James Slay

The Army finally sits down with an actual bartender to discuss what life is like on the other side of the drink counter.  Some of it's good, some of it's really, really not, and we give you some tips on how to not piss off your friendly neighborhood drink-slinger.  Also: Buck forgets his segment!  And Vanessa kills a child! (NSFW as always.)

The Ziggy Stardust
with Andy Hermann

In celebration of David Bowie, we do a tribute show with L.A Weekly music editor Andy Hermann while drinking the Ziggy Stardust, a drink as complex as Bowie himself.  (And the first Army of Drunks cocktail that involves fire!)  Warning: We get loaded, pretentious, and kind of serious about Bowie and his music, but we still have plenty of comedy-ha-ha-good-times as Spork recounts her tale of getting pelted with eggs in Havana on New Years Eve, and we play "Bowie or Bizkit!" (NSFW as always.)

#davidbowie #doesanyonecareabouthashtagsanymore?

Wassail Christmas Special!
with Jon Alloway and musical guest Surprise Inside

Hey kids. it's Christmas!  Has that hipster-douchebag Santa Rampage got you down?  Sit back with a steamin' bowl of Wassail* and learn about the Krampus Run, the old-school response to the red tide. We talk to Jon Alloway, veteran of the L.A. Cacophony Society and one of the L.A. Krampuses bringing a little demonic cheer to Christmas. Also, improv comedy band Surprise Inside improvs Christmas songs on the spot!  And we drop a bad Star Wars Spoiler before Santa guns us down!  Merry Christmas, wass-holes!  (NSFW as always.)

*But do not drink the Wassail.  It's horrible.

The Old Fashioned Show Holiday Redux

with Johnny Amerika

Holiday time is upon us, and as the Drunks gear up for Season Two, we regift a show from Season One, now with added fruitcakery!  MixMa$ter Therm tells you how to make your own Holiday Five-Actually-Seven-Spice Liqueur to give as a gift to the ones you claim to love!

And join us with mad genius Johnny Amerika -- a man who builds the sort of machines you'd only come up with when you’re drunk -- as the Army gets ice-balls deep in the (Whiskey) Old Fashioned cocktail, a drink older than anyone alive today.  We also hear booze news from the rampantly drunken hamlet of River Falls, learn the story of a real-life Killdozer, and drink seven-week-old eggnog without dying. (NSFW as always.)

The White Russian
with Aydrea Walden

Meet writer Aydrea Walden, a self-described "total whitey trapped in a black chick's body," and author of The Oreo Experience blog.  Together we get loaded on White Russians (get it?) and as she talks about her life growing up as the only black girl who liked the Pixies in a Texas high school, and her upcoming show at http://www.theoreoexperienceshow.com
(NSFW as always.)

The Moscow Mule Redux
with Richard Horvitz and Rikki Simons (from Invader ZIM)

You guessed it: "Redux" is French for "Rerun."  It's summer and the drunks are taking a little vacation, but we're rolling out one of our favorite shows from last year.  Listen to cartoon voice actors and stars of Invader ZIM Richard Horvitz and Rikki Simons get loaded and tell true tales of convention horror.  Now with new interviews with Rikki "GIR" Simons where he does NOT talk about his role in Hilary Clinton's "E-mail-gate" scandal!  ABSOLUTELY NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.  (Though knowing our listeners, their kids have probably heard worse.)  And NSFW, as always, people.

The Mojito
with Clifton James Weaver III (a.k.a. DJ Soft Touch)

What's the "Song of the Summer" for 2015?  Damn us to Pharrell Hell if we know, kids!  Popular music has failed us, so we sit down with one of L.A.'s most accomplished funk and soul DJs, Clifton James Weaver, and tap his encyclopedic knowledge of groove before August slips away.  We also sit back and sip on the Mojito, Cuba's most enduring contribution beyond cigars and a stream of angry expatriates to Florida! And: Could Ike Turner beat up Ché Guevara? (NSFW as always.)

The Sazerac
with Ian McEwan

"Ask a Drunken Scientist!"  That's what we set out to do!  Somehow we met mathemetician and psycist Ian McEwan, plied him a lot of good rye, and asked him questions about science ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous and back again.  We also delve into the Sazerac cocktail, a drink that traces its roots back to a pharmacist in 1800's New Orleans.  No, there are no vampires involved.  This is science, a$$holes!  (NSFW as always.)

Short: 1990s - (Redeeming) The Appletini
with the Army of Drunks!

Ah, the 1990s!  A time of transition between the sugary concoctions of the 80s and the more mature cocktails of times to come.  Where candy-flavored "bullshitinis" ruled the high-end drink menus of bars all over America.  We dive face-first into the Jolly Rancher-green Appletini and survive.  How?  Through the ingenuity of MixMa$ter Therm and his genuinely-worthy Apple Martini recipe.  Listen and be amazed!  (NSFW as always.)

The El Presidente Show
with Jhonen Vasquez (extended cut)

Yeahhh... We were gonna do a show about the Zombie.  We really were.  But we ran out of time and hey, we've opened relations with Cuba again!  So in honor of all that, we had MixMa$ter Therm dial-in the optimal recipe for the Cuban classic El Preisdente!  Our guest is Jhonen Vasquez, comic book creator and brain behind INVADER ZIM, and we go looooong talking about bad movies, absurdity, and what makes you a robot.  Really. (Warning: NSFW -- or for chidlren -- as always.)

Subscribe at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-army-of-drunks/id936560275

Short: 1970s - The Harvey Wallbanger
with the whole Army of Drunks!

Journey back to the era of bell-bottoms and key parties as the Army dives into the Harvey Wallbanger, the most delicious summer drink with the most made-up backstory.  Is it a girlie drink with a manly name?  Decide for yourself!  And try to keep up as we play "Real Cocktail or Real Canadian."  (And totally lose track of the score.  Sorry.  We were dunk.)

Short: 1960s - The Rusty Nail
with Katie Massa and Bjork*

"Drink-a-Decade" enters the 1960's with a drink that sounds dirty but goes down sweet. It's the Rusty Nail, and it's the best use of Drambuie since getting your grandmother to pass out early at Christmas. We also sample an Icelandic bark-based liqueur called "Bjork," and Katie tells us the unexpected hazards of drinking in New York.  (NSFW as always.)

*The Icelandic liqueur, not the Icelandic singer.

Short: 1950s - The Black Russian
with Katie Massa and The Municipal Bloodbank Players*

"Drink-a-Decade" enters the cold war with a cocktail created for the amabssador of Luxembourg.  (Seriously.)

It's the Black Russian, a drink so sweet and delicious you'll forget it was born under the shadow of two great super-powers who hoped to destroy each other.  Learn about the White Russian and other far-less-drinkable variations.  We also reveal where the hell Spork has been hiding all this time.  (Spoiler: It's all about the Coachella Hippos.)  And we play "Black Russian, Bond Villain or Porn Star!"

*The Municipal Bloodbank Players do not actually appear in this show. 

Short: 1940s - The Hurricane
with Katie Massa and Jason Berlin

"Drink-a-Decade" pulls into your harbor with the cocktail that was given away free to sailors!

It's the Hurricane!  Drink yourself back to WWII-era New Orleans, when scotch was rare, and rum was flowing like seamen on shore-leave.  Discover the fruity drink that made drinking in the streets famous.  We also discuss the New Jersey marschino cherry bust.  And Katie Massa vomits into Jason Berlin's mouth like a momma bird*  (NSFW as always.)

*Katie Massa does not vomit into anyone's mouth.

Short: 1930s - The Brown Derby
with Katie Massa and Jason Berlin

"Drink-a-Decade" rolls on like a runaway freight train that only smashes a stalled-out schoolbus once every two weeks!

Drink your way back to the Golden Age of Hollywood with the Brown Derby, a delightful blend of whiskey, grapefruit and honey that was possibly invented by Douglas Fairbanks, but definitely made famous in a giant hat.  Also, Jason Berlin spills the beans on his Evil Grandma Betty, and Katie Massa punches-out a raccoon!* (NSFW as always.)

*Katie Massa does not punch-out a raccoon.

The Cosmopolitan Show
with Jackie Monahan

Happy Valentine's/Lincon's Birthday, folks, as we get to the bottom of the most famous "girlie" drink of the past decade.  We also talk with comedienne Jackie Monahan about how she went from the "lesbian comedian circuit" to dating a guy.  Plus, booze news fetures a woman with no pants and a special bottle of whisky.  (Very NSFW, as always. Particularly LGBT-friendly this week.)

The Aviation Show
with Rico Gagliano

Does gin make a man mean?  Find out as we join public radio host Rico Gagliano of The Dinner Party Download and discover the Aviation Cocktail, a drink so smooth, yet so incendiary.  Also, we discuss the worst interview in rock and roll, Spork's Magic 8-Ball trip, and why cake pops can fuck off.  (NSFW as always.)

The (Whiskey) Old Fashioned Show 

with Johnny Amerika

Join us with mad genius Johnny Amerika -- a man who builds the sort of machines you'd only come up with when you’re drunk -- as the Army gets ice-balls deep in the (Whiskey) Old Fashioned cocktail, a drink older than anyone alive today.  We also hear booze news from the rampantly drunken hamlet of River Falls, learn the story of a real-life Killdozer, and drink seven-week-old eggnog without dying. (NSFW as always.)

Don't spend Christmas Eve alone with a bottle, spend it with the Army of Drunks, musical guest Everybody Get in Here, and a whole mess of Hot Toddies!  Learn the history of the drink King George the first called "Laxitive."  Hear about Vanessa's night at a Russian Gun Christmas Party.  Discover new cocktails named after 2014's biggest assholes.  And find out what's in Shaw's Christmas Craw!  Maybe Santa really come down your chimney after all...

Start ringing in the hoidays with Derek Jones, comedian and found of L.A.'s largest Ugly Sweater Party.  Also learn the secret recipe for George Washington's Eggnog, and why real noggers let their nog sit for six months.  Then play "Name That Sex Act - Holiday Edition!"  (Still NSFW, really.)

We'll be back with a full show next week, but in the mean time learn all about bitters -- and bitterness -- with Taylor and Jeremy from Bitter Tears as we get drunk on the "Pork and Beans" cocktail, unearth Taylor's Aunt's torrid affair with Charles Bukowski, and learn that little ice cubes are for punk-ass chumps.  (NSFW, as usual)

For the recipe, check our show notes at http://www.armyofdrunks.net/

Or don't.  See if we care.

Yes, the Army is releasing a "Short" or "Shot" or whateveryouwannacallit as we get in sync with the holidays.  Tonight we try an original cocktail: The Green Hawaii.  Why?  Because nothing says "aloha" like absinthe!  We also take an uncomfortably long time to sign off.  Mahalo, mofos!

(NSFW as always.)

Dismember your childhoold as cartoon voice actors Richard Horvitz and Rikki Simons -- from Nickeldoeon's "Invader ZIM" -- get loaded on the Moscow Mule.  Learn the history of a cocktail created in secret by a beverage cabal.  Hear True Tales of Convention Horror.  Then play "Name that Sex Act" with TV's GIR!  (NSFW, obviously.)  

THE ARMY OF DRUNKS
Long Island Iced Tea Show

with guests Moshe Kasher and Mike O'Connell

Join the Army of Drunks as we get into the history of the most shamefully boozy cocktails of either the 1970's or the Prohibition era, depending on who you believe. Guest comedians Mike O'Connell and Moshe Kasher discuss the art of stand-up comedy, and play "Drunk Comic vs. Sober Comic."

(Utterly NSFW.)